Getting what your "really!!" want

Getting What You Want – Part 3

 

One of the besetting fears each of us face is the fear of being judged.  Image is based almost entirely on what we think others think of us. I think it possible that they are not thinking of us at all.   We grew up wanting the approval of our parents, teachers and peers.  As adults we carry this into our life, our family, our job and social relations.  It is this fear that we won’t measure up that keeps us from doing what we want or need.  It keeps us from going after our dreams and goals.  In general, judging others or ourselves is a waste of time and does nothing at all for us.    We have all heard the phrase, “What will people think?”  We second guess ourselves, by asking, “Did I make the correct decision?”  You have heard of the man who was so fearful of other’s opinion about him, that he wouldn’t watch football on TV.  He was afraid that the team in the huddle was talking about him.

Giving up being judgmental about yourself and about others will enable you to go to new levels in your life and work.  You can do anything you want, but not with the “critic” in your pocket.  My advice is that you give up being critical about yourself first.  Give yourself permission to both succeed and fail, without judging yourself.

  Think about what you fear if you think someone is judging you.  If you are like me, you want to feel like you are accepted.  We want others to accept us and when they seem to be judging us we become unsure of ourselves.   

In school we wanted the approval of our teachers and the students we knew, our peers.  I carried these things right into my adult life and maybe you did too.  What this does is to keep us from going after our dreams and goals.  I lost several jobs, not because I failed at the work, but because I felt I had failed.  I got knocked down and had difficulty regaining my ability to pursue life again.   

In general, judging others or ourselves is a waste of time and does nothing at all for us.  Yes, we have heard that question: “What will people think?”  Thus, we second guess ourselves and get the wrong answer to the question: “Did I make the correct decision?”  It is kind of like avoiding watching television football and thinking that those guys in the huddle are talking about me. 

Giving up be judgmental about yourself and others will energize you to go to whole, new levels in your life and work.  Knowing that you can do anything you want, barring the “critic” in you pocket. So, just give up criticizing or being critical about everything, everybody, and yes yourself.   

Give yourself permission to go for it, succeed or fail, without judging yourself.  Give yourself to being the best you that you can be.

Coach Charles